“Smooth seas do not make skillful sailors.” — African Proverb
Last week I was listening to a leadership podcast where the subject was around the use of AI The point was made that AI can give you answers but at the cost of the struggle of reaching a solution. That resonated with me so here is my take on why the struggle is more important than the solution on it’s own.
The temptation is real: skip the struggle and go straight to the solution.
But when we do, we often rob ourselves of something far more valuable than the answer itself — the growth that comes from wrestling with the problem.
Let me show you what I mean.
When The Shortcut Became The Setback
Emma was newly promoted to department head in a fast-growing tech firm. She was sharp, highly qualified, and eager to prove herself. Early into her new role, her team faced a complex operational bottleneck that threatened to delay a major product launch.
Looking for the quickest fix, Emma called in a senior consultant. The expert arrived, analysed the issue, and within a few days provided a solution. The problem was solved. Deadlines were met. Crisis averted. Emma was relieved.
But six months later, when a similar (though slightly different) issue surfaced, Emma found herself paralysed. The technical details felt overwhelming. The solution that had worked previously didn’t quite fit. She realised painfully that while she had the answer last time, she never truly understood the problem. She hadn’t wrestled with it — and so hadn’t grown.
After some coaching and support, Emma learned to step into the discomfort of problem-solving. She began facilitating collaborative sessions with her team, asking better questions, and learning the underlying systems. With every challenge she engaged directly, her confidence grew — not because she always had the answers, but because she understood the process of getting to them.
5 Benefits of Wrestling with Decisions
Here are five reasons where wrestling with decisions is vital for your growth:
You Build Deep Understanding
The process of getting to grips with a problem or opportunity forces you to understand context, causes, and consequences. You learn to see the patterns beneath the surface and develop real wisdom, not just data.
You Strengthen Your Resilience
Struggle builds emotional muscle. You learn to sit with ambiguity, tolerate tension, and not panic in the face of uncertainty — critical skills for your leadership
You Develop Decision-Making Capacity
As you work through complex decisions, you refine your ability to weigh competing priorities, assess risks, and factor in project outcomes. You can grow more decisive simply with more practice.
You Cultivate Humility and Curiosity
The struggle humbles you. It enables you to be more open to input, more curious, and more willing to ask questions you might otherwise avoid.
You Equip Your Team
When you model working through challenges, you create a culture where your team feels empowered to problem-solve rather than default to “just tell me what to do.”
Different Pathways to Growth through Struggle
One of the most critical lessons I teach in coaching leaders is this: how you struggle is as personal as who you are.
🔵 Extroverted Leaders:
Extroverts generally tend to process challenges externally. They talk things through, brainstorm aloud, and often prefer fast iteration. Their growth often comes in slowing down, listening deeply, and resisting the urge to jump too quickly to solutions before fully diagnosing the issue.
Growth challenge for extroverts:
Learn to sit in the discomfort of silence. Not every answer needs to come immediately. Create space for others to contribute before reaching your conclusion.
🔵 Introverted Leaders:
Introverts typically process internally. They prefer to reflect, analyse, and work through multiple scenarios before speaking. Their growth often lies in voicing their thinking earlier, inviting others into their process, and being comfortable sharing unfinished thoughts.
Growth challenge for introverts:
Don’t wait until your answer is fully formed. Share your thought process with your team sooner. Let others help you test and refine your thinking.
The Bottom Line
Your growth as a leader isn’t found in having the answers — it’s found in learning how to get to the answers.
The struggle shapes you. It sharpens your thinking, builds resilience, and teaches you to navigate uncertainty — not just for your own sake, but for the people you lead.
You cannot outsource your growth. You must experience it.
🔎 Coaching Next Step
In my leadership coaching, one of the most powerful breakthroughs comes when leaders learn to embrace the wrestling — not fear it. If you’re ready to grow through the struggle and build the leadership muscle that sustains you, let’s talk.
🔗 [Book a Discovery Coaching Session Here]
