“Some trust losses are necessary in life to grow.” ~ Unknown
Trust is the cornerstone of any successful team. It’s the invisible thread that weaves through communication, collaboration, and innovation. But what happens when that thread snaps—when a leader experiences betrayal? It’s a situation many leaders dread, yet it’s more common than you’d like to admit. The question isn’t “if” it will happen, but “how” you will respond when it does.
Resilience in Action
Consider Sarah, a CEO of a mid-sized tech company, who prided herself on cultivating an open and trusting culture. She believed that when employees felt valued and trusted, they thrived. Her leadership philosophy was rooted in transparency and empowerment—until one of her senior managers undermined that very trust.
The manager had been a rising star. Charismatic and high-performing, he was someone Sarah counted on. However, she discovered he had been withholding critical project information, prioritising personal gain over a win for the team. The betrayal felt personal—a direct hit to her leadership integrity.
Sarah’s initial reaction was a cocktail of anger, disappointment, and self-doubt. She questioned her judgment. How had she missed the signs? But instead of retreating into mistrust or micromanagement—a common knee-jerk reaction—Sarah decided to lean into her resilience.
Drawing on her experience through adversity Sarah reframed the betrayal not as a reflection of her failure but as a challenge to reinforce her leadership strength. She confronted Alex with clarity and respect, outlining the breach of trust and its impact on the team. While she chose to have him transferred out of the team, she also recognised the importance of maintaining an open heart for the rest of her team. After all in matters of trust the leader still goes first.
Balancing Trust and Boundaries
Sarah’s response highlights a critical skill in leadership: the ability to remain open and trusting while setting clear boundaries. It’s tempting after a betrayal to close ranks, limit autonomy, and double down on control. But that approach often punishes the wrong people—those who are still loyal and committed.
Instead, resilient leaders:
- Process, and don’t Personalise: Emotional reactions are natural, but as leaders you must move from emotion to evaluation. As Brené Brown highlights in her work on vulnerability, it’s about leaning into discomfort while maintaining your integrity.
- Establish Clear Boundaries: Trust doesn’t mean the absence of accountability. Leaders can foster trust while ensuring clear expectations and checks are in place.
- Lean into Transparency: After a betrayal, team members often feel unsettled. Leaders who communicate openly about what happened—without violating confidentiality—help restore psychological safety.
- Stay Curious: Betrayal can trigger confirmation bias—seeing threats where none exist. Leaders who stay curious about their team’s intentions avoid creating an atmosphere of fear and suspicion.
- Reinforce Core Values: Moments of crisis are opportunities to double down on company values. Sarah used the fallout as a teaching moment, reinforcing the company’s culture of integrity and openness.
5 Leadership Strategies for Maintaining Trust
- Conduct A Debrief: Reflect on what led to the betrayal without engaging in blame. Involve the team in understanding how safeguards can be strengthened.
- Cultivate Psychological Safety: According to Harvard’s Amy Edmondson, teams perform best when members feel safe to speak up. You must reaffirm that one person’s betrayal doesn’t shift the culture into suspicion, blame or keeping people at arm’s length.
- Model Resilience: What you want to see in the team must be modelled by you. Lean into emotional regulation and forward-thinking. When you spiral into blame or pessimism, it trickles down.
- Foster Distributed Trust: Avoid over-centralising control post-betrayal. Encourage decentralised decision-making while reinforcing accountability. This reinforces your trust in the culture you are creating don’t let one person’s actions derail your direction of travel.
- Regular 1:1s: Implement regular one-on-ones focused not just on performance but also on alignment with values and team dynamics.
Respond don’t react
Betrayal stings—but it also reveals your true capacity for resilience and integrity. As leaders, we often wish for a career unmarred by breaches of trust. But the reality is different. It’s not “if” betrayal happens; it’s “when”. The defining factor isn’t the betrayal itself—it’s how you respond.
Will you harden your leadership, building walls and making rules that block trust? Or will you lean into resilience, set firmer boundaries, and continue to lead with openness?
The choice is yours.
So, when trust is broken, how will you respond?
